The third and final pillar of self confidence is the ability to trust yourself to have your own back.
To talk to yourself and treat yourself the same way you would talk to and treat your best friend.
If things don’t go the way you want them to, if you don’t do everything perfectly, if you make a mistake, how are you going to treat yourself?
Will you stick up for yourself? Take care of yourself? Support yourself no matter what?
Will you talk to yourself with kindness, love and encouragement?
To have your own back means that you will take care of yourself when you are in pain, not cause yourself more pain.
When you are feeling disappointed, angry or frustrated because you think you have not performed at your best, you will not cause more pain by talking negatively to yourself.
Or about yourself.
You will not make it mean something negative about your value, your worth or your capability.
You will not speak to yourself harshly or beat yourself up.
You will not second guess yourself, tell yourself you did it wrong or that you should have done differently.
Instead, you will love, encourage and support yourself.
If you know that you are going to treat yourself horribly if you don’t fulfill your expectations, you will be anxious and afraid.
And this fear will actually cause you to perform poorly.
If you know that you will have your own back no matter what, you will feel confident.
Because the thing you are most afraid of is how you are going to treat yourself.
Having your own back comes from a belief that you are worthy and valuable no matter what happens.
That your performance has nothing to do with your value or your lovability.
You are already 100% valuable and loveable – worthy of being treated with dignity and respect – because you are a human being.
So choose to have your own back no matter what.